It takes 15 seconds, and it tells you exactly where you stand

Plenty of one-on-ones are really status meetings wearing a calendar invite. You go down the list, your manager nods along, and you walk out knowing what you knew walking in, which tells you nothing about your standing. That kind of blind spot ends up being far more expensive than most people expect. McKinsey and LeanIn's Women in the Workplace 2025 report found that for every 100 men promoted to manager, 93 women are promoted, and for women of color the figure drops to 74. The same study showed 80% of women want a promotion compared with 86% of men, and that the difference vanishes when women get equal support. Real support starts with knowing where you stand, and that knowledge usually comes from one pointed question: "What is being said about me when I'm not in the room?"

The checklist

Look back over your last four one-on-ones here in Columbus and mark yes or no beside each statement below. You are the only one scoring it, and that is the whole idea.

Q-1. Do you know which goals your manager will be judged on this quarter?

Q-2. Over the last few weeks, your questions have focused on where you rank, not just on the tasks in front of you.

Q-3. Can you name the projects your manager champions when she speaks with her own boss?

Q-4. Have you ever heard your manager openly discuss what your next role could look like?

Q-5. Do you understand the single adjustment your manager hopes to see in the way you work?

Q-6. Do you have a hand in shaping at least some of the topics on the meeting agenda?

Q-7. When you last celebrated an accomplishment, did you spell out its business value instead of simply announcing it?

Q-8. Are you aware of when the next talent review or calibration session is scheduled?

Q-9. In the most recent quarter, did you ask, "What is being said about me when I'm not in the room?"

Q-10. You walked out of your last one-on-one knowing something you did not know going in.

Interpreting your score

Eight to ten: informed. Are your one-on-ones delivering the results they were meant to deliver? Do you treat these meetings as a chance to gather insight as well as share updates, so that your manager understands both what you need and the timing behind it?

Four to seven: reporting. Most professionals land in this range, and the good news is that it is fixable. You are doing strong work and describing it accurately, but your manager is hearing updates when she could be hearing an argument for your advancement.

Zero to three: working without a map. This is not a character flaw. No one told you that a one-on-one is a negotiation over attention, and managers seldom volunteer information on their own.

Next steps

Eight to ten: ask the question anyway, this week, and pay attention to what has shifted since last time. Your standing shifts over time, and the shift is usually subtle enough to miss.

If you scored four to seven, trim your status updates by half before your next one-on-one and devote that recovered time to a single forward-looking question. The status list can go out by email, and many managers are relieved when it does.

Zero to three: begin your next one-on-one by asking directly where you stand. Fifteen seconds. Then stop talking. Whatever your manager says in reply, including the silence before she speaks, gives you the answer you need about where you stand in Columbus or anywhere else in Central Ohio. When the reply comes back quickly and with detail, it signals that your name is in active conversation, and you finally know what is being said. A long pause means they are not yet, and you have learned that a year before a review would have told you.

Tally your yes answers, and then share this with the woman in your Central Ohio network, perhaps in Gahanna or Newark, who leads the strongest one-on-ones you know.