Seven email openers that sound like the person in charge

For six days, your message has been sitting unopened in his inbox, Columbus, Ohio. You draft a reply reading "Just checking in on this!" and add an exclamation point so it sounds cheerful rather than annoyed. You are irritated. The exclamation point gives it away. The follow-up copies the original word for word and adds a preface apologizing that the first note didn't land.

"Just checking in" asks for nothing, promises nothing and sets no date by which anything should happen. It comes across as a gentle tap from someone unsure she has the right to tap. The person in charge in Dublin doesn't send check-ins. She states what comes next. Here are seven openers for five situations, written in the way she would phrase them from her desk in Westerville.

First. Following up on an unanswered request

The appealing but weak option: "Just checking in on this!"

The stronger approach: "I need your sign-off by Thursday to keep the vendor date in Grove City." Alternatively: "Returning to this item." "If I haven't heard back by Friday, I'll proceed with option B."

Reason: each of these lines includes a deadline and a result. The first gives the reader an easy task. The second converts their silence into a decision they are making on paper, and that is a very different thing from staying quiet.

Second. Requesting time from a senior leader

The tempting version: "I'd really love to pick your brain sometime if you have a spare minute."

The better version: "I have one question about the Q1 pricing decision for Hilliard." Twenty minutes next week?"

Reason: it names a subject, how long it will take and when. Senior people tend to accept bounded requests and let open-ended ones slide, since an open request is work they must scope before they can even turn it down.

Third. Sending work for review

The tempting version: "Apologies for the intrusion, here's a draft, do share any thoughts you might have!"

Better: "Here is the draft." "Could you look at the pricing section specifically? The rest of the Gahanna draft is final."

Reason: "any thoughts" opens the door to a full rewrite of the document. Limiting the request to one section gets you a decision on exactly that section, which is what you wanted, and it takes the reader far less time.

Fourth. Delivering news nobody wants

The tempting version: "Sadly there's been a small hold-up, and I'm really sorry about that."

Preferred: "The launch shifts to the 14th. Cause: the integration did not pass load testing. The fix is underway and I'll confirm on Monday. For a longer update, open with: "There are two things you need to know and one decision I need from you."

Reason: the apology makes the reader reassure you before they find out what went wrong. A plain message that states the fact, the cause, the plan and the date lets them forward it to their own leadership without changing a word.

Fifth. Declining work you cannot accept

The tempting version: "So sorry, I'm absolutely buried at the moment, but perhaps later on?"

The better version: "I won't be able to take this on this week." "Lena in Upper Arlington has the bandwidth and the background, and I've copied her here."

Reason: a refusal that points to a next step functions as a handoff. You have met the sender's real need, which was the reason they wrote, and you managed it without a paragraph explaining your schedule.

The guiding idea running through all seven

Each message from the person in charge makes clear, within its opening two lines, what it concerns, what she needs from you and the deadline. If your opening includes those three things, you can drop every "just," every "sorry" and every exclamation point you had been using to cushion the message. Anyone who reads it will not assume you meant to be impolite. They will think you were busy, which, in most Central Ohio offices from Downtown Columbus to Dublin and Westerville, you probably are.

Pass this along to the colleague on your Delaware team who recently sent "just checking in" to a client.